I have been in mixed states for months now nothing is relieving it,med changes,lifestyle changes, nothing seems to pull me from the darkness of mixed state it is depression and manic at the same time.My motivation to do anything is nil but my head has all these ideas and plans I could do.all these medications I am on make me very tired all I really want to do is sleep but at night I am very restless pacing the floors beneath me.I write to express myself as others would never understand cause they see you and you look fine but the feelings just don't disappear.
thanks for reading
Midnight matters is a look into life with Bipolar and addiction it is not for the faint of heart but rather the inside prespective of living with an illness that can take over your life and thoughts... My aim is to educate and carry the message to those that suffer in silence and isolation..there is no shame or stima here my friends its only in acceptance and understanding can we truly recover and have life.. some don't get that choice...or chance
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Bipolar Manic Depression
I never liked the word depression,I call them low moods you know when you have it.
energy levels are low,everything seems dark and gloomy,you can cry at anything.
It can keep you in bed for hours even days.thoughts running through your brain how can I fix this,what is happening to me,all the things we should be doing but can't.
It use to come so easily to us.except now we are dealing with depression it is so much bigger than yourself.
Here are a few suggestions
See the doctor
Fill and take your prescription
Go for a walk no matter how hard it seems.just getting out of the house will lift your spirit even for a moment.
Take time to relax it is OK.
Do something that pampers yourself.
Read a book.
I find writing out my thoughts lets them out of my brain.
Mood monitor keep track of your mood cycles and take it to the doctor on your next visit.We can't remember one day to the next sometimes.
Mindful meditation I really did.t think this one would work but it does help.learn how to do it there are alot of resources on-line.
Get a support network friends, family,being alone and isolated is not good for someone who is depressed even though you just want to be left alone.
But most importantly be good to yourself and take it easy.
minimal stress will lessen the running thoughts.
Hope these suggestion help.
Leave a comment I appreciate them.
energy levels are low,everything seems dark and gloomy,you can cry at anything.
It can keep you in bed for hours even days.thoughts running through your brain how can I fix this,what is happening to me,all the things we should be doing but can't.
It use to come so easily to us.except now we are dealing with depression it is so much bigger than yourself.
Here are a few suggestions
See the doctor
Fill and take your prescription
Go for a walk no matter how hard it seems.just getting out of the house will lift your spirit even for a moment.
Take time to relax it is OK.
Do something that pampers yourself.
Read a book.
I find writing out my thoughts lets them out of my brain.
Mood monitor keep track of your mood cycles and take it to the doctor on your next visit.We can't remember one day to the next sometimes.
Mindful meditation I really did.t think this one would work but it does help.learn how to do it there are alot of resources on-line.
Get a support network friends, family,being alone and isolated is not good for someone who is depressed even though you just want to be left alone.
But most importantly be good to yourself and take it easy.
minimal stress will lessen the running thoughts.
Hope these suggestion help.
Leave a comment I appreciate them.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Genetics of Bipolar
Bipolar has a genetic component.It can be passed down through generations.
In my own family there are many of us that has now been diagnosed with Bipolar.I was the first which in a way.I feel blessed.I was able to do the research,I spent many hours resaerching the illness but more importantly the hours spent dealing with the illness,helping others within our group,informing family of symptoms and education and support available to them.I am sure it will make there journey less scary.to know they are not alone.Many I have known personally have suffered in silence and now are dead.My main point of advocacy is to be sure people talk about their illness and seek the professional help required to deal with the illness.We can't recover on our own.Bipolar is a life long illness but with treatment it is manageable
Daily life can be seen as a challenge but what doesn't break us makes us stronger.
Even in our times of self doubt,low self esteem something carries us.
higher power may you find it within yourself.
God bless please leave a comment thanks
In my own family there are many of us that has now been diagnosed with Bipolar.I was the first which in a way.I feel blessed.I was able to do the research,I spent many hours resaerching the illness but more importantly the hours spent dealing with the illness,helping others within our group,informing family of symptoms and education and support available to them.I am sure it will make there journey less scary.to know they are not alone.Many I have known personally have suffered in silence and now are dead.My main point of advocacy is to be sure people talk about their illness and seek the professional help required to deal with the illness.We can't recover on our own.Bipolar is a life long illness but with treatment it is manageable
Daily life can be seen as a challenge but what doesn't break us makes us stronger.
Even in our times of self doubt,low self esteem something carries us.
higher power may you find it within yourself.
God bless please leave a comment thanks
Friday, May 20, 2011
Back to normal---- whatever that is.
I have feeling my old self. back to normal I could say whatever that is.
My normal is being able to function at a fast pace most call it mania.
It just makes me feel good shopping,spending, gambling all my favorite things to do.
Less sleep is required which suites me fine.I just wish the switches would give advance notice as to prepare for them.For example save more money for frivolous shopping sprees and gambling.The only thing good about not having the money is it keeps me in check and glued into my realities.
Good thing as the Dr will check me into reality as well Bipolar the illness has a symptom of acting out behaviors.such as listed above included are drinking,increased appetite,increased promiscuity,increased energy levels. I call it fun.
It can last a few days or weeks even months if not corrected by medications.
I'll enjoy the ride till my next visit.
Thanks for reading leave a comment I will respond.
My normal is being able to function at a fast pace most call it mania.
It just makes me feel good shopping,spending, gambling all my favorite things to do.
Less sleep is required which suites me fine.I just wish the switches would give advance notice as to prepare for them.For example save more money for frivolous shopping sprees and gambling.The only thing good about not having the money is it keeps me in check and glued into my realities.
Good thing as the Dr will check me into reality as well Bipolar the illness has a symptom of acting out behaviors.such as listed above included are drinking,increased appetite,increased promiscuity,increased energy levels. I call it fun.
It can last a few days or weeks even months if not corrected by medications.
I'll enjoy the ride till my next visit.
Thanks for reading leave a comment I will respond.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
The inner calm
The inner calm comes from a place of simplicity.Taking things easy,not being so hard on myself.trying to make everything perfect in a less than perfect world.
Slow down enjoy the moment rather than always being in my head with the rambling of my thoughts.It takes practice believe me.when a thought comes in I first write about them just to get it out.Then I go for a walk just the breeze on my face,the calm that natures beauty brings me.when I walk as though I am in a hurry I remind myslef to slow down,I say to hi to others stop and have a chat.Just the connection however brief makes like I accomplished something.Sometimes sure feeling of how is this adding up to anything come in,feelings of defeat,I look around and compare myself to others.
I feel like I don't measure up at times.I am where I am cause that is the way it is. It all really boils down to acceptance and my fight to accept my own reality.
I haven't written in a long while,because really who am I kidding I am not a writer even though I write but the whole purpose was to share my story and in hopes it helps someone struggling just like me.
Have a great day leave a comment!
Slow down enjoy the moment rather than always being in my head with the rambling of my thoughts.It takes practice believe me.when a thought comes in I first write about them just to get it out.Then I go for a walk just the breeze on my face,the calm that natures beauty brings me.when I walk as though I am in a hurry I remind myslef to slow down,I say to hi to others stop and have a chat.Just the connection however brief makes like I accomplished something.Sometimes sure feeling of how is this adding up to anything come in,feelings of defeat,I look around and compare myself to others.
I feel like I don't measure up at times.I am where I am cause that is the way it is. It all really boils down to acceptance and my fight to accept my own reality.
I haven't written in a long while,because really who am I kidding I am not a writer even though I write but the whole purpose was to share my story and in hopes it helps someone struggling just like me.
Have a great day leave a comment!