Working through the emotion

Anger to me has always been a defence mechanism that worked.I loose my cool the trigger goes away..The raging Bipolar in me sends those around me,feeling somewhat defenseless.This anger come from a place of frustration or disappointment usually with people,family,or myself
or someone that just sends me irate which means I have to be watchful of those that I surround myself with ,if you piss me off you are cut off,simple as it seems,I can do this at a drop of a dime.I have tried other techniques,but I do revert to this one always it is what works.I can't candy coat so the other persons feelings are not hurt,If my opinion doesn't count then I stand for nothing.however not everyone want to hear it and that is there choice.Live and Let live I kept saying to myself today.
as the trigger of my anger was my son and his foolish ways..I can't wrap my brain how someone else thinks or lives that is there life.I am not going to do this as a disservice to them or myself.I look through the window into my own future.what do I see.peace and calm it is what I love,but when the triggers call or walk through the door.I learned along time ago.I don't want them so I don't seek them out,they seek me
and when they do the rage in uncontrolable at the time.In writing this post I am working through the emotion.
thanks for reading

The humerous side of Bipolar when I am Manic,If I was depressed I'd be crying

Bipolar and manic to me is,having to clear out my house,usually I just move the furniture around at 3 or 4 in the morning,but not this time. I cleared everything out into storage unit.I was supposed to move but I am now sitting in an empty house,Now if I was depressed I would probably be sad,however I am happy as I unloaded each load of my personal belonging,gave away most of the furniture to goodwill,this bipolar does stuff like, give away my stuff to get new stuff.
Like yesterday I spent the day in Port Credit,which is such a beautiful lake front community with restaurants,stores,markets,parks,all within walking distance.fancy this and fancy that.suitable for my manic tendencies(laughing while I am writing this)
I also enjoy photography the scenery shots are spectacular,however I noticed every picture with my hubby in,he does not look to happy about this rather expensive endeavor.I found an Apartment hotel,perfect just move in and voila.no work involved
there is only one minor detail I have 2 dogs that are a valued part of my life.before two weeks are up I have to find a solution for this..Even on the ride home..I was on the brink of irritation as know one is going to stop me,I am on it
If I am going to live this Bipolar life May as well live it in style.
see he works hard for his money.I spend it as fast as it comes.not to mention
I gamble,take risks.sometimes the odds are in my favor sometime they are not.
I would not recommend this lifestyle for most,but it does work for me.
I also think that bipolar tendencies depends on how much cash is on hand,I try not to pull out the credit any more as this can be disaster play now pay later.concept has proven not to work for me.Its all about the game,a game requires participation.
Game of Life..I actually flip a coin if I have a decision to make.three times if it comes up heads I can proceed.Yesterday I wanted to go out early as I still had not slept from the night before.wanted to go to Port Credit,but hubby and son where still sleeping it was six in the morning after trying my hardest to get them up and at it.they needed there sleep.I went to bingo after flipping the coin.the thought process is should I or should I not.I went, after winning some cash 1,000 I was glad I did.We did make to to Port Credit enjoyed the 2 hour walk and dinner that cost 200.00.came home to my empty house went to sleep.another day in the mania.
In the manic the mood is lifted,fast talking,fast moving most can't keep up with me.
the decreased need for sleep,increase in appetite,spending money,are signs of mania
I love it,but the doctor does not..isn't it better than the other pole depression

Wonder how the Doc is going to like it when I see him tomorrow wish me Luck