Avoidance

The past few weeks I have been in the mode of avoiding the realities of my life..Why?
I have come to the conclusion the with every phone call comes a problem..and I have chosen not to react to others problems or take on the emotional crap that comes with it..I am usually very compassionate and understanding however the last few weeks I am none of these things..I have a unique gift of discernment and I can see things coming from a mile away..but no one listens they call for support which at this time I am unable to give..especially when they don't want to listen or follow my suggestions..keep on keeping on and see what comes about and latley the results are aweful..it can be avoided the difficulties, the health problems, deaths, however all of these things are at the door or the end of the line and quite frankly it contributes to my depressed state..so what do I do I avoid..stop answering the phone..the door and participating in my life as at times I feel the pain that others go through..and often I take it on..however this time something is different I am allowing others to deal cope and learn from the own trials and tribulations it is the best teacher..I cannot save the world..this just is not within my reach..even though I wish I could reduce the suffering in which people bring apon themself for whatever reasons they choose..let go and let god..be still..and as difficult as this process has been for me.as my family issues are taking it's toll..It is not my problem..am I being selfish I ask myself maybe..but with my own wellness to consider
I must make that a high priority
I cannot medicate myself because you have a problem...reducing the outside stressors
has others thinking that I don't care..don't they get it Susan no longer is going to come running every time there is a problem.I am not going to let the drama of life to get me down..it is a dangerous place I have a choice today and I am not going there..Avoidance is a protective mode..I stand on guard

Wellness Challenge

I was having an occupational therapist come to my home,I had tried other forms of therapy.nothing really worked and I needed something to help me connect the dot as I would describe it.I would have trouble with basics like forgetting my belonging when I leave the house locking myself out.needing to do an errand but forgetting the objects or papers I needed in which to do the errand.wanting to make my goals but unable to do them..there was a disconnect which I had never experienced before as I am usually with it and articulate multitasker but during this phase I was unable to even pull it together..and when I could I would get lost on the bus even though I have been there many times before.or forget why I was there.
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the frustration was mounted by the agitation of being around people which would lead me not able to keep me appointments..or meet my obligations..heighten by the worry of what was happening to me and the horrific side-effects of the medications I really didn't recognize myself anymore.I began to isolate I couldn't handle the situation,my diagnosis.your the reality that this was it I was crazy..cause even to me I was..
I certainly was not the person I once was.
nor will I ever be.they gave my an occupational therapist Julie..I was grateful one on one which was great.she came to my home so I always kept my appointments.she gave me valuable ways to cope,understand,about triggers, symptoms,and how I can respond well this was all new and I was willing to learn as what I was doing was not working
Wellness was soon apon me which I could never see before.now it is possible as I am working and feeling and being better
Wellness however does take work and a lot of work...but I will do the work as wellness is the challenge.