A distant day

When things seem to all go wrong,this morning I woke up with a cold,probably from sitting in the cold weather with not much clothes on,walking the dogs in the rain,last night thought in was all in my head..and it is a head cold,sneezing,sniffles,snoozing.
The distant day is when I move into my home,the one I am buying at this present moment it seems like a distant day,things just are not going according to my plan.
I had planned to work this week with hopes to get the ball rolling,I went to pay for the advertising,but they had moved there location so now I have to wait till Thursday.everything is on hold.while i nurse this cold.see timing is everything in Gods time not mine.So I had a talk with God the way I want things,in a quite whisper
I heard patience,not my forte.I want it now.
as I look around at the quite serene atmosphere of the hotel,the darkness of the clouds will bring more rain,the wind is blowing the trees around.even the dogs didn't want to stay out with me while I smoke.why am I sitting outside having a smoke
anyways?I could change to a smoking room but that's not good for the dogs.
The room is a mess as I slept in till 1:00 with a Do not disturb sign on the door.
so I did not receive maid service today.She did call me when I went next door to get my coffee,asked if I needed anything? I am OK for today was my reply.
Really am I OK,with not working and my lavish lifestyle,the funds are running low.
I need to make money that's what I really need.To make it through today,and to that distant day.

Poverty sucks

It seems whenever I am in a low mood,I have no money do the two go hand in hand in makes me wonder,when I am in a high mood the shopping, spending is endless.there is always enough money to suit me.
but right now my mood is low has been for 4 days,and not a penny in sight.so this sucks I know it is temporary as I get money tomorrow,the word budget keeps comming to my attention,one of those words I have never lived by.I have faith that the money is always there,It is not however is this caused by my low mood,or does having no money cause my low mood,or is it the crash from living high for awhile? just a few thoughts mood and money..
Let's talk about Poverty it sucks the big one and even though I have expereinced it several times in my life.I just don't like it,thats why I work and save.
but some have to live it every day,where is the next money coming,baby bonus,government aid,how is the food going to stretch till the end of the month?
what about a single person with no dependants the rents here in Toronto are quite high,unless you live in sub standard housing one could never make it?
Poverty I am sure affects many with Mental Health and Addictions.however it does seem that there is always enough money for the drug of choice.It makes me wonder if this is due to the fact many are really just happy and content with this way of life?
if so why should I be the one to promote change?
Promoting change is that there are alternatives.the alternative to Mental Health and Addictions is life free of all bondage including poverty.
These are my thoughts today.
In the meantime I am getting ready to move on as poverty has never been the norm for me.nor will it ever be.but some can be very happy.or are they?
Thanks for reading till next time Susan

It is out of my hands

Well it's been a few days still the upbeat mood,the energy is up and I love it that way,except when things are up I can spend myself into oblivion..yeap that's right I gamble..the stakes are high so I go higher..All in is my motto..go big or go home..
now I am home..gees can a girl get a break yes I did 1400.00 break which for 2 days work is not so bad..most would say? It is not what I need or wanted.. little ungrateful maybe..but right now..I am in the hole..It is temporary I know as I can't see beyond that right now..as I have big overhead right now..I must get to work or the ship will sink..is my thinking but I know within time this to will subside..paying the bills arrgg I hate doing this I can't tell you..but they don't care where the money comes from they just want there payments yes Its in the mail usually when I let things slide like the bills..something happens..they get paid..
and the process is slower..but they are getting paid just at a slower pace..I don't like it when things are slow and when I am in a high energy state everything goes slow for this girl..to slow yeah take it twice if it goes so slow..I am going to get myself ready to work next week as I have slacked off long enough..now that all the other things have slowed down the family drama I can get focused on work.finally
seems like the summer is going by very fast.faster than I can reach those goals I have set for myself.timing is everything and my timing is off..the inner clock is anyway
but this girl loves a challenge..when the chips are down I pull through..there down
when I am up this is a good combination..lets get done..stay tune if I pull through as I always do..triumph and victory is mine..Lets do it.

The High life

It has always been part of my character,Bipolar or not to live the high life,sometimes I do,then there are time I live in the dumps usually depends on my state of mind,how I am feeling and yes the most important how much DO RE ME (cash)
I have at my disposal,only to be realized with the fact money doesn't grow on trees for some,they work hard for there money well that has never been my case easy come,easy go. feast or famine for this girl..would I have it any other way of course not,I love the survival mode,the ability to make cash in when I need to,The feast is sure great when I am flying high,but when I am not then the big D rears it's ugly head that would be depression..Money,power and control floats me boat..there is no better feeling for me,security it not the main objective as when things are secure..
I really don't like it,I like the freedom to roam,change,be versatile it was not for the family I would have probably been a world traveller.but the roots where always home..the base in which I was secure,doesn't everyone need this? since I have many sources of loot I am very resourceful,always have been..just material things don't mean that much to me as they once did,yes don't get me wrong I love nice things,but I don't attach importance to them,as most people do..Assets are more important,at this stage of the game,first and foremost ME I am my most valuable asset.then what I own,not the bank owing but me,this is where the power lies as I think long term my investments have to be long-term AGE creeps up on us quickly,leaving behind for my family the results of my life,a reason for my life,the difference..I made to them
this is my ultimate goal...So do the math (9 grandkids) each will have ahead start..
by the difference I have made it's a big feat..I often wonder,will I reach that goal
I am very determined..regardless of the cost..