Poverty sucks

It seems whenever I am in a low mood,I have no money do the two go hand in hand in makes me wonder,when I am in a high mood the shopping, spending is endless.there is always enough money to suit me.
but right now my mood is low has been for 4 days,and not a penny in sight.so this sucks I know it is temporary as I get money tomorrow,the word budget keeps comming to my attention,one of those words I have never lived by.I have faith that the money is always there,It is not however is this caused by my low mood,or does having no money cause my low mood,or is it the crash from living high for awhile? just a few thoughts mood and money..
Let's talk about Poverty it sucks the big one and even though I have expereinced it several times in my life.I just don't like it,thats why I work and save.
but some have to live it every day,where is the next money coming,baby bonus,government aid,how is the food going to stretch till the end of the month?
what about a single person with no dependants the rents here in Toronto are quite high,unless you live in sub standard housing one could never make it?
Poverty I am sure affects many with Mental Health and Addictions.however it does seem that there is always enough money for the drug of choice.It makes me wonder if this is due to the fact many are really just happy and content with this way of life?
if so why should I be the one to promote change?
Promoting change is that there are alternatives.the alternative to Mental Health and Addictions is life free of all bondage including poverty.
These are my thoughts today.
In the meantime I am getting ready to move on as poverty has never been the norm for me.nor will it ever be.but some can be very happy.or are they?
Thanks for reading till next time Susan

From bad to worse

The day started late,woke up around 4pm.I have been staying with my daughter who is 4 months pregnant,her moods are fluctuating,she wants support,but on her terms,this is not easy,I knew that when I came and was going to stay the night I am still here,
financially speaking it has gone from bad to worse,with everyone on my case about responsibility,imagine there telling me how to manage my affairs,it so enlighting as the financial manager with funds less than to manage,see I do tend to gamble and things work in my favor maybe not this time,or the best is yet to come.for today I am still ok just the way the family is responding when times are tight,where is the faith people,I can't lose and won't they just never understand but when the goings good they are happy,right there like dirty shirts,but when thigs are tight financially I am seeing sour puss faces.it is the long week-end at this rate the week-end will be super long.labour day.after a night of yet another jackpot free evening,came come and watched a movie with my daughter.Labour Pains it was appropriate as she did have a laugh,I said we should make a video of her pregnancy so she could see herself in action,with a stare and glare that could rip me part,I will have to watch her sleep in the dark,Good-night moody girl sweet dreams

Some days I'll call them low moods

I call them low moods,as I just don't like the word Depression I can't believe I even wrote it it just urks me it implies no hope and I am a very optimistic person usually. Bipolars do have depression and on my day of low moods they have in my life lasted days weeks and months.

I am now fully aware of what makes up my low moods.but when when I first started having them I had no clue.just that I was no longer functioning, no interest in anything, sleeping sometimes 1o-15 hours a day everyday and still no energy, feelings of being overwhelmed by what I don't know as I was always asleep but during my times I was awake the thinking of despair would not go way.thoughts like what's happening to me? I can't even take care of myself any more? how am I going to manage my life? what will become of me.normally I am high functioning and multitasking but during these times I am not able to do very much.
I became more and more isolated I didn't want people to see me like this.I didn't feel good and it showed in my face and my appearence.my confidence was stripped from me completely.
I have since learn alot about the illness and ways that I can improve my quality of life and have had great success.
I do have the odd day when the D word come to the surface and rears its ugly head.but now I know its a dangerous place for me to entertain.I can't go there or stay there.
I would joke with the doctor just give me a some-thing some-thing so I can snap out of it.
it's a dark lonely place.with no end in sight.but I am here to tell you my friends it does end as all things do.
I have to take my well-being into account and do all the things I can to feel good and be good
and on the low mood days like today I started the day off right prayer/meditation my i hour walk,,water, veggies aah I see there is no sunshine today see the sun doesn't shine everyday my friends.