When in doubt..... Write

When in doubt write.I use to use pen and paper stick it in a box for no one else to see,now I blog visible for many to see. Just as your reading this.I wonder do you get anything I am trying to say? What is the point is really the question I am asking
Initially I thought I would write about my experience in hopes that others would do the same? as I am on information over load right now with all the information on Mental Health and Addictions.everyone has a story to tell.sharing the experience.
Really the whole point of my on-line work was a starting point for my own personal development through my illness.It worked.well into wellness now,I seem to be having some personal doubts if this is true?
I am still sitting in an empty apartment with nothing but my laptop,mattress and two dogs.living vicariously through the Internet.
I was suppose to move with all good intentions I am still here.It has been a place that while during my illness I felt safe,quite and peaceful.with nothing but my thoughts locked behind the bedroom door.I was very comfortable in this place of torment.I didn't have to really do much other than,pull out the laptop and do my thing.research,learn,and put my health mental,physical,spiritual as my main priority and focus.
as I close this chapter,It has been both comforting and rewarding.I must get on with the next as I sit here writing I am somewhat reluctant,only for the simple step of
making that move of putting my life in motion.
The rewards will be far greater than even I will ever imagine.
Just by stepping into my own life.
A different way of life
As I close the door tightly shut behind me once last time.

Changing perceptions from illness to wellness

Ok why should I even care you ask? Perceptions one's view of Mental Illness and Addiction.
if you can keep an open mind,I share mine with you and for those that know me I am frank and at time abrupt,not only are these issue damaging to your life and come as a thief in the night and steal many years of precious life.but if one only knew what damage it causes long term one doesn't really think about the consequences of having a few drinks,or a few more do they add that up over a daily period add some drugs,over the years with neglect of body and soul,something is bound to snap it can manifest physically or mentally.
Broken families,relationships, can be a direct response from these breakdowns.
When emotions have no way to communicate the feeling they stay stay within. leading to resentments, anger,depression,fear,anxiety,distrust,
humans are not wired this way behavioral acting out becomes a way to deal with the issues, there has to be some relief as there are no tools to do so.we work with what we have and for some it's not much..

I myself have seen the Doctors office at a time when nothing seemed right,diagnosed rapid-cycling Bipolar,the symptoms have worsened than 12 years before, for I had ignored care
although I had lived as a high function person during that time 2 businesses, a mother of 3
a mortgage,a life

Immediately put on meds to stabilize after 2 yrs of compliance and terrible side-effects the doctor said I was med resistant thanks be to God.
You see as smart as I am,I also thought the doctor was smarter he has his PHD

the focus is on wellness not illness,ability not disability to be at ease with my limitation's not to strive for perfectionism.not remaining diseased it the recovery process not stagnant in misery
its about gaining energy,to have a choice,to be alive and feel it.

In doing this and sharing my story,strength and hope that those that still suffer will recover.
Onde day at a time.

Together we can