The Switch------It's in the brain

The switch that occurs in my brain..I can feel it occurring I am in tune with my body
as a rapid-cycling Bipolar.Today the switch is on,how do I know this first off the sensation in my brain.a light goes on,lightheaded,thoughts are rolling in and out
what is this switch and why does it occur? Bipolar this is why I have it,there is no denial here my friends..It is very real.The switch to mixed mood,where low and high
is experienced at the same time.also known as hypomania clinical terms..how do I feel
well right now I am changing gears,my body craves carbs and sweets,I want to be alone
yet I cannot seem to sleep..there are the thoughts that continue,I call it my creative force.that compels me to write this experience.when does it happen after my monthly usually.so today is the day.I feel it it is real no one has to explain it to me.nor do I have to run to the doctor as to whats going on.I know and am aware of it.
I do not take medications to see the phases through I experience them as they come.
there is no danger present like some freak at a show,the dullness and excitement as I remain unusually calm..I feel peaceful and calm,the knowledge of knowing and feeling the experience is somewhat beneficial right now..the slight nausea in my stomach,the light headed feeling,the wanting to sleep but can't,the need for speed,
as I precede ever so slowly,hypo mania is the state right now..the plan for today
go with it,breathe,meditate,write, you see as a rapid-cycler the moods don't last long each phase changes very quickly,at this moment,I can be in it not fight it
irritable somewhat but not raging an improvement slightly,keeping a mood journal
is helpful when I can track the moods,then I see the pattern and progress the duration of each mood and what the triggers are,what is the treatment rest..
I can get overstimulated with news,media,computer and TV,life in general..
adding activity today will change the mood..I know what worked for me today.despite the grips of this illness sometimes..moods matter to rapid-cyclers
writing this for insight for both of us

Open and Honest

Bipolar love
I meet so many incredible people with my work..I can tell you I take it very seriously,maybe to serious..there is a time for everything,right now humour comes about just after my flaming bull rage I had for two days why you ask? just because I think I need a change to change it really just part of the rapid-cycling bipolar,It has occured to me yesterday it is time to move,SO in a fit of rage which classify as bipolar moment or whatever I came to the conclusion I need a big house A million dollars OMG I don't have that much is the reality of it all.But I want it,doesn't really matter how I get it,My husband was kind enough to point out I was being unreasonable..well if I can't get it with him maybe we don't have similar interest was my reply,our relationship is in trouble as we don't communicate I have to yell at the top of my lungs for anyone to hear me!I want my house...so over the next few days I am in search of the new diggs,bigger better time to move on..in the meantime I have starting packing first my suitcase,as if I am going to Hawaii that would probably be just as good,a vacation but reality is I'd have to come back,I really don't care bout the obstacles I might face, anything is possible when your a raging bull and don't dare get in my way..I had to say that no about of medication is going to keep me in the complaint state drug me and ooohh everything is calm and good at who's experience mine screw that my happiness is of most importance my well- being,I will go to all lengths to get and be what I think I should have and be..NOTHING is going to stand in my way not even reality at this point why limit myself,if I am going to think,think BIG...Anger for me has always served me well in life it;s the fire under my ASS.I am pissed at the fact that I am 46 years old and still have yet to be where I want...Only I can make it happen,yes I know all about the journey and not the destination...but I want more than ever the destination aaahhhh I will be able to breath easier to prove my point to myself.close that chapter,and get on with it here I come destiny you have been waiting far to long for my participation HERE I AM all yours...and in the destiny the humour involved is part of the process,enjoy the ride..whheeww cause that part never did come easy,ENJOY

Mania Madness

Rapid-Cycling Bi polars have the ability to go from one extreme to the next or both at the same time. Mania for me is wonderful, It is my favorite mood state the reason being my energy is high



I can do so many things very goal oriented during this phase,I become very happy and social, I look great and dress wonderful my alter ego appears Suzanne!!she is quite wild she love to work shop,gamble,increased sex drive,spends money,travels,and at times drinks and party!! its a great time while it lasts but it doesn't last long anymore,when I was younger.this was my life.and I could maintain but when the rapid-cycling diagnosis came.it hit me like a ton of brinks...to be discussed in another blog



Mania now occurs less frequently within the last year which saddens me but makes my doctor happy.as the goal is to shorten the cycles and severity of symptoms.

when I have a mania cycle now in only last at most 72hours where i do not sleep,work on the computer,if I am very hyper I clean my apartment scrubbing everything and throwing things out

even things that I could still use,I just like getting rid of stuff when I'm like this,or I keep myself very busy with bingo, walks, shopping and my dogs or my grand kids they usually tire me right
out then it takes me few days to recuperate from that my mania is nothing compared to 9 grand kids all under 10 and two dachshunds Lucy and Luke