10 signs that tell you are living with someone who has Bipolar

10 signs that tell you are living with someone with Bipolar

1) Pouting can't have their own way
2) patience not even for 10 seconds
3) drive the non bipolar nuts
4) smokes,drinks,drugs
5) wants to talk to much
6) bills can get passed due
7) spends alot of money
8) screams and freaks out
9) papers, work piles up
10)sleeps all day,up all night

Testing Testing

Testing of everything in me comes around daily..Patience is not one of the qualities
I have been blessed with but I can tell you I am graciously getting the hang of it..
patience and faith seem to go hand in hand..blindly leading the way...I have no doubt
that while going through the things life throws my way..for example test of faith with my son what an ordeal..but we have made it through,now it is my Mother she has been very ill for over two months now..for the last three weeks she has been in hospital they found out she has a hole in her heart and glogged arteries..which may require open-heart surgery..well I can tell you I am besides myself..worst case senerios are running through my mind she has never been a fighter..is she strong enough will she fight..then the childhood issues are coming to mind my mother and I have never been close, I always had resentments for the fact she was unable or unwilling to care for her family..now as God will have I must care for her time to deal with the issues at hand before she dies..it has been very emotional I don't want her to suffer but in life you reap what you sow..is this a bad joke or what
just the thought I will have to give myself unselfishly yet again..to care for the weakest one of them all..My mother has never been available in any regard for her family..Funeral services will have to be arranged by me I am she, didn't prepare
for this time of life..an emergency someone will take care of her yet again..
How is it in life some have and some not this is what angers me to expect others to carry your load..especially your family how selfish..to me a parent has responsibilites to her family..My mother has never honored hers in my book..A chapter
of the book is coming to a close the end of her life, is the whole in her heart a way of saying she has no heart..I know the thoughts are running wild but I have to share this part with you..I have never been able to share it with Mom..
I am a fighter..every test in life I have passed..this is just another test to finally let it go..forgiveness..at the end of her life...

Avoidance

The past few weeks I have been in the mode of avoiding the realities of my life..Why?
I have come to the conclusion the with every phone call comes a problem..and I have chosen not to react to others problems or take on the emotional crap that comes with it..I am usually very compassionate and understanding however the last few weeks I am none of these things..I have a unique gift of discernment and I can see things coming from a mile away..but no one listens they call for support which at this time I am unable to give..especially when they don't want to listen or follow my suggestions..keep on keeping on and see what comes about and latley the results are aweful..it can be avoided the difficulties, the health problems, deaths, however all of these things are at the door or the end of the line and quite frankly it contributes to my depressed state..so what do I do I avoid..stop answering the phone..the door and participating in my life as at times I feel the pain that others go through..and often I take it on..however this time something is different I am allowing others to deal cope and learn from the own trials and tribulations it is the best teacher..I cannot save the world..this just is not within my reach..even though I wish I could reduce the suffering in which people bring apon themself for whatever reasons they choose..let go and let god..be still..and as difficult as this process has been for me.as my family issues are taking it's toll..It is not my problem..am I being selfish I ask myself maybe..but with my own wellness to consider
I must make that a high priority
I cannot medicate myself because you have a problem...reducing the outside stressors
has others thinking that I don't care..don't they get it Susan no longer is going to come running every time there is a problem.I am not going to let the drama of life to get me down..it is a dangerous place I have a choice today and I am not going there..Avoidance is a protective mode..I stand on guard

Bipolar 101: Bipolar Research Update April 9, 2009

Bipolar 101: Bipolar Research Update April 9, 2009

BPD in OKC: yet another meme

BPD in OKC: yet another meme

In the heat of the moment

In the heat of the moment..it is summer and I love the heat it is my favorite time of year.flowers,sunshine,people are all about,long walks in nature with the dogs,and of course the friskiness that summer seems to bring me..
I at any given moment have also deal with the emotional response to whatever comes my way each day..in the heat of the moment I am like an explosive watchdog that always responds in anger..Hot-tempered Scottish las..as my father would say.
This has always been a part of my character..a part that has and will serve me well
many others don't like the explosive nature and I have learned over time that it is best to stay away from people places and things in which make me raving mad..
for example line-ups at the grocery store..slow people..idiots..rudeness..however
this is always presented to me how can I be tested in such away..everyday the test is on have I really learned to do what it takes to keep my peace..in the stillness
I am calm..once I am approached by anything that's sets me off I am in the heat of the moment..there is no chance for rational thinking and really at that moment I am a
lunatic in high gear..fight or flight response I have never been the type to turn the other way..I face the adversity head on..like a bull in a china shop Mother would say.get out of my way,don't come and bother me cause today is not the day..
in the heat of the moment the impact of the wrath I have for you will be long lasting it will not disappear..especially if you have made it a point to piss me off
and there are people that want to steal your joy..Jealousy maybe..but what it really boils down to is they are miserable in there sad little minute lives with not a hope in hell..of ever getting out..well as for me the only thing I do know for sure is that is your problem not mine..I have choices today..my choice is the heat of the moment to enjoy it, face it and explode..it may scare you but remember one thing don't come and piss me off..and if it is your plan in your day..revenge is so sweet
I always have the last laugh in watching you self distruct...

Thankful

Today I practiced being thankful from the moment I woke up I said It is Thankful Thursday..I am thankful for my home so I cleaned it..I am thankful for my dogs so I walked them..I am thankful for the hard working men in my family so I cooked them a great meal..Guess what happened they where thankful too!and then my son was talking about being thankful so he passed it to his friends we can never be to thankful for we are blessed with so much even in times when all seems lost give thanks for the trials and tribulations cause your breakthrough is around the corner and in those times we learn so much about ourselves and others..Gratitude will change your attitude..I am most thankful for Me..I don't always give thanks for myself..Today I reclaimed the thankful heart and my mood reflected that..what do you have to be thankful for today share with others and see how it works simply AMAZING..

It is impossible to be grateful and depressed in the same moment..Charles Dickens