What is it about you that triggers me..

I have been thinking of writing this post topic for a while.People.. yes people are my triggers just certain kinds of people..the loud,obnoxious,rude kind of people the
ones that never shut up or get to the point they ramble on like uneducated idiots..then there are the type of people that constantly repeat themselves..I heard it before come up with something new please.
Then there are the kind of people, the smelly weird people..water is free and soap well that is in most showers use it in all the sweaty places..emotional people the ones that are always crying about something,life is so hard,he hurt my feelings and not living up to my expectations..well guess what people life is tough and you have to be tougher.and another reality check you cannot make another human being someone they are not.OK then there are the phone people the ones that call all the time and don't leave a message
well that is why they created the answering machine that I pay extra for.If you really need to get a hold of me then leave a f&***(()king message I'll call you back.but calling over and over again that irritates me..If I don't answer the phone the first time that means I am away from the phone or unavailable.
Then there are the slow people.the ones that stand in line to wait.no wonder the lines are so long it is filled with slow people.that have nothing better to do but wait in a line.
Then the drivers the ones that speed to know where uumm the stop sign,the traffic lights,cut off pedestrians really these people irk me there fast shiny cars who are they impressing themselves.the kind of people who are all flash and no cash this makes me laugh.I own a house a car a boat really the bank owns you!! you really own nothing unless it is payed in full with cash.
Then there are the fake people the ones that really are designer this and fake that there is nothing of value except the purse they are carrying or the shoes they wear making up for what you don't have to buy yourself some self esteem really come on people.ok then there are stupid uneducated people the ones that can't hold a conversation or count the correct change or the ones that have a job and you go there place of business looking for there products and they don't have a clue what your talking about.they are there just for the paycheck and are not interested in the customer could I be talking about sales people the ones that work in department stores.then the ones that work for companies that call you
I am not interested click after I have politely told you no thank-you.then the lazy people the ones that have no ambition in life the ones that sit around doing nothing
but feel hard done by there are plenty of things to do 24 hours in a day get it done..will ya
day people the ones that are happy at 6am in the morning give me a break we are not all happy day people.then there are the religious people the ones that think God will do for them well God Can do but you have to get off your knees and go hustle he can only work through you.then there are the drug addicts and pill poppers and drunks well happiness life is not in the next fix..
then there are the ugly people I mean Damn ugly..the ones that on the outside are ugly and even worse on the inside then there are the selfish me me me kind of people get over yourself and think of others.then the cruel and unkind of people the ones that victimize and hurt others willingly are you really that powerful or just some poor disadvantaged kind of person that doesn't know the beauty of life.. Care
so in a world with all kinds of people..the ones that trigger me into a bipolar craze
I have to understand it takes all kinds of people to make the world go on..but its my job to be in the world not of the world..thanks for reading

The Universe is bigger than me...I am part of it

The Universe is bigger than me I am part of it.at times I think I am just a small part of the bigger picture.as I go along in my days I think how can I make that difference in my own life and those that I touch daily I use to think it was a big bang and it would magically happen.the big bang effect happens in my daily life each day that comes and goes I do my part,however big or small it may seem to me is really insignificant to the effects it has on each other through our lives as we live it,by our words and deeds.the active role we play in the universe sometimes I just want to make it go away the demands I put on myself,it seems sometimes that I have not attained the bigger picture as I see in my mind of what it is I want to give and take from life. When I take the moments to cool my jets.relax my brain and body it really does seem that it does not matter..in each second is what matters how I choose to use it make it and be it..the simple things that are of no value is what matters not the keeping up with Jone's or the car I drive the home in which I live none of this matters to me.sometimes the stuff in which we attach ourselves to seems to give the sense of our self but because I have no real attachment to things or people I have so much.I want for nothing ever.WHY cause the desires of my heart are always provided for they come from a place of love,love of God,myself the universe
family and friends so I am never lonely yet I am alone I am never bored as I am far from boring there are times there is way much to do I do know one thing that is for sure that as a small part of the universe I have a big part to play.In the lives of many for that I must do my part each day thanks for listening

Mania is so much fun..I love the way it go goes

Mania for me is so much fun I love the way it takes me into my alter ego.
the excitement of what comes next for surely there will be something.the constant energy that keeps me full speed ahead of myself and those around me.WAIT so down,wait for what tic toc tic toc.time is a wasting.I love the way I feel as well upbeat, personable,social can do attitude.Nothing is overwhelming take charge I am in complete control or am I.
The challenge with this Mania is I am moving everything is in storage after being in a secure home for the last 6 yrs I want freedom,no dishes,housework,cooking,bills,I am going to explore, there is a world outside of these walls that bind me.Isolating for a long period of my illness I am feeling that I can take on different kind of challenges.Work is going to be the number one priority
putting aside my personal life see I had difficulty with balance hence Bipolar extremes,taking on to much of things that did not interest me or ignite my passions and desires,this move went exceptionally smooth thus far
just have some loose ends to tie,like calling all the bill holders cable,bell,hydro that I am moving.moving where hhmm?
I am going to a hotel apartment with all amenities a girl could ask for luxury suites.exploring and freedom are two things I am excited about Woot Woot all aboard

मानिस इस सो मच fun

Change

Change can be difficult..when it involves ourselves..thinking
is just part of the process action is the other.I have been thinking along time about changes..my home,my work,and even people I have been in close contact with over the years.
I have done little about the action part of what I personally want.
over the last week I have made a decision..this very step can propel one into action
deciding what you want to do with today.with yourself.
as you know bipolar has had its grip on me for many years and I had become sort of compliant with it..until I made a decision to fight back.
Now that this a clear for me I am also moving..I had been thinking about this for a months but now the action part.I have endured the last year I can say it was difficult on my part as it involved family and I love them much..but taking on others difficulties teaches them nothing..what it has taught me this year is.we all have a journey called life we learn and grow through the experiences.(hopefully).
as I am embarking on a new phase of my life its called letting go and letting God.

I however have to understand in all things I can't sit back my voice has to speak
today I have done just that.in more ways than one.Change can include people as well
what's best in all circumstance for all involved is the best outcome follow your heart and your instincts..they both know what we need
thanks for reading

Is it possible someone is crazier than me?

Dare to ask this question..Is it possible someone is crazier than me?
the part of me is my hot temper and when someone messes with me intentionally I have no other recourse but my reaction.I have kept my family life out of blogs but this deserves a mention..only for the fact that there are loads of people crazier than I am they just don't know it.or care to admit it.However I have been dealing with a personal issue that involves my son.this girl is crazy obsessed with him and he wants nothing to do with her..she has filed criminal charges against him claiming he had a gun.the facts are he is not this kind.he has been in jail 4 times as a result of this..this breaks my heart as a mother that someone could make false allegations
he had all but one charge drooped as he was in custody for 17 days he had to plead guilty to one.in order to get out.up untill this point my son is 30 with no previous
problems or convictions.she wants him to live with her.he wants nothing to do with her yet she has called me 10x with saying that I am the reason he doesn't want to be with her and that if I agreed she could have him..I told her over my dead body..
she has told police he lives with her.he lives at home she is completely and utterly delusional.when she calls she ask for my son I tell her to F*%^^^& off and leave us alone she persists with vulgar messages.calling my son names as well as myself..she recently e-mailed his new girlfriend with a very rude telling the girl all about herself she doesn't have this right but she still persists today the cops where at the door again with allegations of domestic abuse.my son has tried to tell the athorities but she is the victim.Tonight I marched up to the police station and said I wanted to press my own charges of harrasment.as I have every call she has made to my home written down I also have tapes.of her calling but you can't hear her voice..
They told me it would look suspicius if I laid charges.suspicious of what facts are facts she is a nutcase on the loose and even though I have not done anything till this point something must be does I will go in tommorrow with my lawyer and son in tact
I will get charges laid I have supporting letters from his friends of the calls ongoing the harassment and the threats..my son says women can say whatever they want
however this women me has not spoken yet I will now and with the anger that is mounting I wouldn't take this from no one..and she has had plenty of opportunity to let it rest
no end in sight as I see it.all I can say is there is a will and a way.one way or the other.could I be mellowing not likely just allowing the time and evidence for my day in court thnks for listening.

The power of spritual progress

not everyone happens to be a believer..I am.. what brought me to that place.when I was about 10 yrs old my mother could not cope with us so my brother Brian and I went to a group called Praise Him Ministries.there it was I learned about God Jesus and the holy spirit..they had taken me into a room I had an odd feeling.inside of me I told the people someone died in this room they said in fact someone had many years previous. Lynn was losing her eyesight she told me I had the spirit of discernment a spiritual gift.
after a few months had passed we learned about prayer,praise and the love of God..
bible study and the prayers,faith.miracles and deliverance.They would often have these deliverance of evil spirits I was not allowed in the room as I had not invited Jesus into my heart.which I did immediately I was intrigued and wanted to take part that evening I also received the holy spirit..I had turned my life over to God.
I became the prayer director which consisted of a prayer line, many people that I could call upon to pray for others.Then one night I woke up I had run into the room of ray and Lynn I said please please wake up something terrible has happened to my brother they thought I had a bad dream and asked me to go back to bed I persisted asking them to call the group home in which my brother Brian was staying they did she went to his room and he was gone.the cr was gone.Brian had run away.I got on the prayer lines.not ever thinking I would need to see Gods Power for myself.we prayed got a call back Brian had been in a head on collision he was 9 yrs old walked away from the accident not a mark on him the vehicles were damaged but no one was hurt..
thank God.this powerful intervention was nothing more than prayer, faith and a miracle
as time was passing God has always been involved in my life and I seek him in times of trouble.I pray, read my bible,encourage others of the power of the spirit and Gods will for there life's.even in times when I was not walking in the ways of God my prayers and faith remained in tact.there are many more miracles I will discuss in other blogs but the point of this God changes everything following your spirit.can and will make a difference in your life and your children's life, the life of the family..What is Gods purpose in your life his will or your own will.the power of free will we can choose.he guides our steps when he is called upon..