Celebrating my life,Today is my 46th Birthday

Ok so it's my birthday,not just any birthday a celebration of my life.who every thought I'd make it thus far,Not me

In getting an early start to the celebrations.I did an overview of my life,a sort of gratitude reminder of how lucky I am to be me.I have a wonderful family,a great many friends,and most important to me is my life and my experience that in turn help others.

Like today,I was able to help 4 people with alcohol problems,which in turn makes me question living as an adult of an alcoholic parent.My father to whom is long gone now but lives everyday through me and our family.see he did not have a choice with his illness and I do.just in that precious gift alone it is amazing.

To have the gift of my life and experience to share with others..Is so rewarding,however I must always remember in my celebration,there are others that still suffer.

that is the path for most the suffering but once you can accept,and release all in life is promised.

It is not in the achievement or reaching the goals so much but those that walk with you along the way,seeing them grow and flourish.and being a part of it.

This is really the ultimate I have ever seen.the love that exists through me and in me is from God. as I could never take the credit..

So at the end of this day I share a little bit of me along the way..
so that it inspires something in you to grow and make that change
One thing I have learned is never settle for what you think your worthy of
as what you think is far short of what your worthy of

Thanks Happy Birthday to me
Cheers to us!

Some days are better than others

Some days are better than others..
Today being not one of them, not for any reason my head just tells me so,the day started after another all niter,I was tired and needed to sleep at 11am but the dogs where restless and the guys downstairs where doing some work the dogs kept barking I finally went to sleep,then my neighbour knocked at the door,to see if I was alright quite unusual as he has never done this before.I was half asleep said I was fine however he did looked concerned which left me thinking as I hit my pillow I'm I really OK,with the move still have yet to go physically as I am now in an empty house.never mind I said I am OK but for me to sleep at noon is a sign I went to sleep till 10pm.I then went out with the dogs got a bite to eat,which brought another question to mind? I have been off my healthy program for 4 days.I did manage my 1 hour walk at midnight.hhmm I am off kilter it is a sign I came home then had a bath soaking in the tub and meditating.
pure bliss.I thought I just needed to rest,be still and quiet.some days are better than others after quiet contemplation.the peace within is making be very calm.in a
somewhat situation.but the rest is needed at times like these
Thanks for reading

BPD in OKC: Bringing bipolar into the light

BPD in OKC: Bringing bipolar into the light

The adventure is in my mind,soon the body will catch up

The adventures are in my mind, soon my body will catch up I have been thinking..oh no not that again.I can think myself crazy.as a rapid - cycler bipolar my mind can go from imaginative,highly creative to where I am going to go and what am I going to do
who will I see,is everyone alright, as the afternoon progressed I finally got my body in gear and got going.looking for the adventure my mind is creating and in doing so we went for a drive and ended up in Port Credit.

A small town on the lake,beautiful scenery.parks,cafes,patios,people,the feeling I had being there was happy,calm,and most of all inspired.I have been looking for a change in my living arrangements something more suitable for my lifestyle now,simple and beautiful as I walked long the boardwalk looking at the lake.I love the water it makes me feel calm.

I have been looking for accommodations,no not another house as I first anticipated.apartment hotels with all the amenities and the view is spectacular.I can walk outdoors to nearby everything picture perfect I was saying as I had my dinner on the patio.the music was playing Bob Marley.Everything is going to be alright don't worry this song I love and reggae music especially Bob Marley calms my soul.
After our lovely walk along the boardwalk.then checking out accommodations.I have made a decision to move to Port Credit finally something that interest me.that gets me going, excited this is no small feat believe me.
when I got home back on-line checking things out Mental Illness the topic of my life

I breath it daily I live it.this month is the second anniversary of my school friend Lynn she was Bipolar and died as a result of suicide, at her funeral I committed my work to educate,share, on the experience of living with Mental health issues and addictions.so that others and myself will not suffer in silence but with our voice those that still suffer may choose life and living. Recovery is possible one day at a time.Previous to the Mental illness diagnosis.I worked with alcoholics and addictions
as this to is a part of my story and my father died from alcoholism.

Through my own recovery it has been the biggest challenge of my life yet the most rewarding.to share my courage strength and hope.with others.not by teaching and preaching.but by example and the power to carry that out..Reminds me daily that it a life worth living.
For that I am grateful
many don't get that choice or chance I have been given both
Thanks for reading
Susan xox

Housework and mundane chores of life

Overwhelmed by housework and the mundane chores of life.It has been a few years now I have been thinking of ways to conquer the miles high loads of laundry and dishes.First I thought well I'll just do it yes do it it seems easy right well just after it is done there is more to do it is never-ending.I have finally conquered the battle of housework for some it may come easy and it once did for me I either enlisted help of a housekeeper or family.but nowadays my loads are not as much.just seems to much for me.when I have to look at the dishes piled in the sink and load them in the dish washer or when the laundry is piled in there baskets calling me to come put them in the washer.then fold oh I have finally put an end to it.I have simplified my life I am down to a suitcase of clothes and not a dish to be seen whew what a relief I can tell you.Tonight I went to the park with the dogs and hubby we had a barbecue veggies and steak
.then guess what no dishes just 2 paper plates which we tossed yahoo.
we had a wonderful time to play walked and enjoy our time together as well as take in some beautiful nature now I call that living I am on an experiment for 1 month excluding all forms of house duties including the house
bills non-existent still a few days to go just a few details to close off loose ends oh I know your asking why because I can

What is it about you that triggers me..

I have been thinking of writing this post topic for a while.People.. yes people are my triggers just certain kinds of people..the loud,obnoxious,rude kind of people the
ones that never shut up or get to the point they ramble on like uneducated idiots..then there are the type of people that constantly repeat themselves..I heard it before come up with something new please.
Then there are the kind of people, the smelly weird people..water is free and soap well that is in most showers use it in all the sweaty places..emotional people the ones that are always crying about something,life is so hard,he hurt my feelings and not living up to my expectations..well guess what people life is tough and you have to be tougher.and another reality check you cannot make another human being someone they are not.OK then there are the phone people the ones that call all the time and don't leave a message
well that is why they created the answering machine that I pay extra for.If you really need to get a hold of me then leave a f&***(()king message I'll call you back.but calling over and over again that irritates me..If I don't answer the phone the first time that means I am away from the phone or unavailable.
Then there are the slow people.the ones that stand in line to wait.no wonder the lines are so long it is filled with slow people.that have nothing better to do but wait in a line.
Then the drivers the ones that speed to know where uumm the stop sign,the traffic lights,cut off pedestrians really these people irk me there fast shiny cars who are they impressing themselves.the kind of people who are all flash and no cash this makes me laugh.I own a house a car a boat really the bank owns you!! you really own nothing unless it is payed in full with cash.
Then there are the fake people the ones that really are designer this and fake that there is nothing of value except the purse they are carrying or the shoes they wear making up for what you don't have to buy yourself some self esteem really come on people.ok then there are stupid uneducated people the ones that can't hold a conversation or count the correct change or the ones that have a job and you go there place of business looking for there products and they don't have a clue what your talking about.they are there just for the paycheck and are not interested in the customer could I be talking about sales people the ones that work in department stores.then the ones that work for companies that call you
I am not interested click after I have politely told you no thank-you.then the lazy people the ones that have no ambition in life the ones that sit around doing nothing
but feel hard done by there are plenty of things to do 24 hours in a day get it done..will ya
day people the ones that are happy at 6am in the morning give me a break we are not all happy day people.then there are the religious people the ones that think God will do for them well God Can do but you have to get off your knees and go hustle he can only work through you.then there are the drug addicts and pill poppers and drunks well happiness life is not in the next fix..
then there are the ugly people I mean Damn ugly..the ones that on the outside are ugly and even worse on the inside then there are the selfish me me me kind of people get over yourself and think of others.then the cruel and unkind of people the ones that victimize and hurt others willingly are you really that powerful or just some poor disadvantaged kind of person that doesn't know the beauty of life.. Care
so in a world with all kinds of people..the ones that trigger me into a bipolar craze
I have to understand it takes all kinds of people to make the world go on..but its my job to be in the world not of the world..thanks for reading

The Universe is bigger than me...I am part of it

The Universe is bigger than me I am part of it.at times I think I am just a small part of the bigger picture.as I go along in my days I think how can I make that difference in my own life and those that I touch daily I use to think it was a big bang and it would magically happen.the big bang effect happens in my daily life each day that comes and goes I do my part,however big or small it may seem to me is really insignificant to the effects it has on each other through our lives as we live it,by our words and deeds.the active role we play in the universe sometimes I just want to make it go away the demands I put on myself,it seems sometimes that I have not attained the bigger picture as I see in my mind of what it is I want to give and take from life. When I take the moments to cool my jets.relax my brain and body it really does seem that it does not matter..in each second is what matters how I choose to use it make it and be it..the simple things that are of no value is what matters not the keeping up with Jone's or the car I drive the home in which I live none of this matters to me.sometimes the stuff in which we attach ourselves to seems to give the sense of our self but because I have no real attachment to things or people I have so much.I want for nothing ever.WHY cause the desires of my heart are always provided for they come from a place of love,love of God,myself the universe
family and friends so I am never lonely yet I am alone I am never bored as I am far from boring there are times there is way much to do I do know one thing that is for sure that as a small part of the universe I have a big part to play.In the lives of many for that I must do my part each day thanks for listening