Mania is so much fun..I love the way it go goes

Mania for me is so much fun I love the way it takes me into my alter ego.
the excitement of what comes next for surely there will be something.the constant energy that keeps me full speed ahead of myself and those around me.WAIT so down,wait for what tic toc tic toc.time is a wasting.I love the way I feel as well upbeat, personable,social can do attitude.Nothing is overwhelming take charge I am in complete control or am I.
The challenge with this Mania is I am moving everything is in storage after being in a secure home for the last 6 yrs I want freedom,no dishes,housework,cooking,bills,I am going to explore, there is a world outside of these walls that bind me.Isolating for a long period of my illness I am feeling that I can take on different kind of challenges.Work is going to be the number one priority
putting aside my personal life see I had difficulty with balance hence Bipolar extremes,taking on to much of things that did not interest me or ignite my passions and desires,this move went exceptionally smooth thus far
just have some loose ends to tie,like calling all the bill holders cable,bell,hydro that I am moving.moving where hhmm?
I am going to a hotel apartment with all amenities a girl could ask for luxury suites.exploring and freedom are two things I am excited about Woot Woot all aboard

मानिस इस सो मच fun

Change

Change can be difficult..when it involves ourselves..thinking
is just part of the process action is the other.I have been thinking along time about changes..my home,my work,and even people I have been in close contact with over the years.
I have done little about the action part of what I personally want.
over the last week I have made a decision..this very step can propel one into action
deciding what you want to do with today.with yourself.
as you know bipolar has had its grip on me for many years and I had become sort of compliant with it..until I made a decision to fight back.
Now that this a clear for me I am also moving..I had been thinking about this for a months but now the action part.I have endured the last year I can say it was difficult on my part as it involved family and I love them much..but taking on others difficulties teaches them nothing..what it has taught me this year is.we all have a journey called life we learn and grow through the experiences.(hopefully).
as I am embarking on a new phase of my life its called letting go and letting God.

I however have to understand in all things I can't sit back my voice has to speak
today I have done just that.in more ways than one.Change can include people as well
what's best in all circumstance for all involved is the best outcome follow your heart and your instincts..they both know what we need
thanks for reading

Is it possible someone is crazier than me?

Dare to ask this question..Is it possible someone is crazier than me?
the part of me is my hot temper and when someone messes with me intentionally I have no other recourse but my reaction.I have kept my family life out of blogs but this deserves a mention..only for the fact that there are loads of people crazier than I am they just don't know it.or care to admit it.However I have been dealing with a personal issue that involves my son.this girl is crazy obsessed with him and he wants nothing to do with her..she has filed criminal charges against him claiming he had a gun.the facts are he is not this kind.he has been in jail 4 times as a result of this..this breaks my heart as a mother that someone could make false allegations
he had all but one charge drooped as he was in custody for 17 days he had to plead guilty to one.in order to get out.up untill this point my son is 30 with no previous
problems or convictions.she wants him to live with her.he wants nothing to do with her yet she has called me 10x with saying that I am the reason he doesn't want to be with her and that if I agreed she could have him..I told her over my dead body..
she has told police he lives with her.he lives at home she is completely and utterly delusional.when she calls she ask for my son I tell her to F*%^^^& off and leave us alone she persists with vulgar messages.calling my son names as well as myself..she recently e-mailed his new girlfriend with a very rude telling the girl all about herself she doesn't have this right but she still persists today the cops where at the door again with allegations of domestic abuse.my son has tried to tell the athorities but she is the victim.Tonight I marched up to the police station and said I wanted to press my own charges of harrasment.as I have every call she has made to my home written down I also have tapes.of her calling but you can't hear her voice..
They told me it would look suspicius if I laid charges.suspicious of what facts are facts she is a nutcase on the loose and even though I have not done anything till this point something must be does I will go in tommorrow with my lawyer and son in tact
I will get charges laid I have supporting letters from his friends of the calls ongoing the harassment and the threats..my son says women can say whatever they want
however this women me has not spoken yet I will now and with the anger that is mounting I wouldn't take this from no one..and she has had plenty of opportunity to let it rest
no end in sight as I see it.all I can say is there is a will and a way.one way or the other.could I be mellowing not likely just allowing the time and evidence for my day in court thnks for listening.

The power of spritual progress

not everyone happens to be a believer..I am.. what brought me to that place.when I was about 10 yrs old my mother could not cope with us so my brother Brian and I went to a group called Praise Him Ministries.there it was I learned about God Jesus and the holy spirit..they had taken me into a room I had an odd feeling.inside of me I told the people someone died in this room they said in fact someone had many years previous. Lynn was losing her eyesight she told me I had the spirit of discernment a spiritual gift.
after a few months had passed we learned about prayer,praise and the love of God..
bible study and the prayers,faith.miracles and deliverance.They would often have these deliverance of evil spirits I was not allowed in the room as I had not invited Jesus into my heart.which I did immediately I was intrigued and wanted to take part that evening I also received the holy spirit..I had turned my life over to God.
I became the prayer director which consisted of a prayer line, many people that I could call upon to pray for others.Then one night I woke up I had run into the room of ray and Lynn I said please please wake up something terrible has happened to my brother they thought I had a bad dream and asked me to go back to bed I persisted asking them to call the group home in which my brother Brian was staying they did she went to his room and he was gone.the cr was gone.Brian had run away.I got on the prayer lines.not ever thinking I would need to see Gods Power for myself.we prayed got a call back Brian had been in a head on collision he was 9 yrs old walked away from the accident not a mark on him the vehicles were damaged but no one was hurt..
thank God.this powerful intervention was nothing more than prayer, faith and a miracle
as time was passing God has always been involved in my life and I seek him in times of trouble.I pray, read my bible,encourage others of the power of the spirit and Gods will for there life's.even in times when I was not walking in the ways of God my prayers and faith remained in tact.there are many more miracles I will discuss in other blogs but the point of this God changes everything following your spirit.can and will make a difference in your life and your children's life, the life of the family..What is Gods purpose in your life his will or your own will.the power of free will we can choose.he guides our steps when he is called upon..

Mind Of A Mad Woman: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts

Mind Of A Mad Woman: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts

Medications ~~~~~Why I have chosen other options

Medication is a topic in the bipolar world,I will start by giving you a little of my experience first and then my thoughts.. I was initially diagnosed 15 years ago,I would take then medications to pull me through usually an anti-depressant when I could not pull it together on my own..however during this time I was also into alcohol and yes took a draw of a blunt
actually a half a quarter per day.mixed with the anti-depressants well I can assure you the whole combination ended me either in hospital or at a withdrawal management facility.I would rather drink and smoke than pop pills any day..however I had attended an A.A meeting with my brother who was the drunk not me..I did everything not to be one as my Father died from alcohol.I didnt drink alone,before noon,or have it affect my functioning, I was a functioning alcoholic.however when my mood where
low as they do happen to get when the booze and party runs out, I would walk into the Dr's office and get the antidepressants.aha in a few weeks I was up again ready to party..but after I sobered up and remained off the alcohol and weed the strangest thing happened..I got more and more depressed withdrawal..I had been using drugs and alcohol so long that I could barely function without it..I would continue with the 12 step progam and my life did improve it took work and decision on my part.the emotional basket case.subsided
leading to by rapid-cycling diagnosis about 5 years ago.even though I thought I was dealing with the booze and drug problem I was still in denial about the bipolar issue
but when I walked into the Dr's office yet again they referred me to a shrink..yep it had progressed to rapid-cycling.I was giving alot of pills over the 3 years of compliance.at one time I was on 10 different drugs just to balance me out.well I never did balance out I was med resistant as the Dr said.after taking these very harmful pills.which I can tell you from my own experience that I did not like the effects at all..weight gain 80lbs,zombie like,shaking,vomiting,but what other options did I have well I could barley roll out of bed,when I did I would sit in my chair so numb dumb,and very alone I could not understand what was going on with me..I had to learn more.so I did alot of research in the years gone by,I meet with the shrink every month,that option is so gone now as they don't really do anything other than prescibe,monitor the moods and that"s about it,my life has been overtaken from the illness as I have taken this aspect far to serious. I am now feeling better than I have in 5 yrs mostly do to walking every day 1 hour my diet, no longer is filled with sugar and carbs..I eat healthy.drink water,yes I do contend with the moods rather other people have to I have have learned that I am not going to medicate myself so I can be more tolerable for others don't like it too bad..see me tomorrow you might like me then,the moods are a part of me on meds or not.its up to me to do what it takes to feel better, be better and acceptance has been a great key to all this a lot of who I am is.I can't or don't want to change these aspects of myself but what I can change, I have changed which has really been a learning experience for me.change never somes easy as sometime we have to admit.who really wants to be honest to admit our faults character flaws or just learned behavior
it hasn't worked is not working so something had to give..mental illness bipolar
gave to me so much more than I think I will ever be able to give back. I am grateful today to share my courage, strength, hope with you, that if your reading this you will find that your not alone and recovery is possible one day at a time
easy does it..Do it..Good