Hoods can teach main street the value of community

It has been an interesting day in the hoods of our community Malvern..Why is it called the Hood? A community,first and foremost,where people got your back,if you ain't from the hood you'll never understand..
I am from the Hood children play as moms watch on,basic survival is really about helping one another to get through the day.
Beautiful people,that like a simpler way of life survival,it a dog eat dog hood the strong survive the best and the worst today. There was a drug overdose with the cops around even city pulse a TV network,this is every day in the hoods people die,Guns..drugs,domestic violence.The kids play in the concrete jungle.parking lots running from on coming cars..sports,fights,bikes and oh the music plays.nice cars drive by and wave,people pass the day talking, working,helping each other,visiting one another,
Night is approaching,It is rather a quite evening after last night,when someone did an overdose.another funeral in the morning.
Main street can learn a little something about community from the hood..a place we call home,come back to, then everyone wants out including me.Some get that chance or choice.just remember where ya came from and why ya left..

Good-Morning Freedom Fighters

I am still on my experiment,as you know I moved out of my more than stable environment for a little instability..I defiantly blew the budget with my living in the lap of luxury time.so I ended up at my long time girlfriends of 30 yrs Coco Puff I call her..This morning was the first day of school,there a lot of Happy Mommas this morning,Mom's are freedom fighters every day of there lives..fighting for the child's freedom,It is a reminder to me all the hard work that goes into raising a family.not that I ever could forget how time consuming and stressful it can be. This morning I finally called the phone company and hydro,It was like I had a direct line no answering machine's to tell instruct what numbers to press, for which department oh how that usually bugs me.Not today ,it's my lucky day the lady on the other line was thanking me for my patience,Wow it is my lucky day a first time for Patience,she also said I was cheerful and Chipper..I said it is probably due to the fact I was closing my accounts.Thank-you and Good-bye.I am enjoying my road trip and experiment so far,My family thinks I am not being responsible at the moment.It is my life my time,To be Susan'.
Have a great day freedom fighters xo

5am and raring to go go

I have noticed lately every Sunday Morning I am rearing to go go...like there are things to do.this is a day when the Men in the family sleep in from there hard work week.but will I let them rest,probably not.Sunday morning is the day I want to go for breakfast then church spend time with the family I have always loved Sundays It is my best day of the week.
so I sit here 5am waiting for someone to awake but even the dogs are sleeping..
Ill do my walk early,the dawn approaches ready to shine another nice day..
as the summer winds to a close,the last week-end of the summer,kids back to school soon.and labour day on Monday.since the ones who labour need there rest..just for today I will let them..
Have a great end of summer week-end xo

From bad to worse

The day started late,woke up around 4pm.I have been staying with my daughter who is 4 months pregnant,her moods are fluctuating,she wants support,but on her terms,this is not easy,I knew that when I came and was going to stay the night I am still here,
financially speaking it has gone from bad to worse,with everyone on my case about responsibility,imagine there telling me how to manage my affairs,it so enlighting as the financial manager with funds less than to manage,see I do tend to gamble and things work in my favor maybe not this time,or the best is yet to come.for today I am still ok just the way the family is responding when times are tight,where is the faith people,I can't lose and won't they just never understand but when the goings good they are happy,right there like dirty shirts,but when thigs are tight financially I am seeing sour puss faces.it is the long week-end at this rate the week-end will be super long.labour day.after a night of yet another jackpot free evening,came come and watched a movie with my daughter.Labour Pains it was appropriate as she did have a laugh,I said we should make a video of her pregnancy so she could see herself in action,with a stare and glare that could rip me part,I will have to watch her sleep in the dark,Good-night moody girl sweet dreams

Six inch stiletto shoes

Today my day started out at 11:00am blurry-eyed.went on the balcony at my daughter apartment to have a smoke. her very pregnant girlfriend came by,we got to talking.oh no not that again and it starts she has bipolar there we are three of us talking about bipolar.my favorite topic..and drinkers in non-functioning relations..well something functions on these guys as both her and my daughter are pregnant.however there not drinking now cause there prego and certainly both living sober for today..with withdrawal symptoms.why can everyone else drink.they are both seeing this more clearly as bipolar alone can destroy ones perceptions add alcohol well instant time bomb waiting to happen.so there mates right now are in the dog house cause they are inconsiderate drunks with no life.match made in heaven right.except when one is sober there expecting a baby so there expectations have changes like as though the man has he is still the same guy just you are not intozicated.
What an opportunity for us to talk about alcoholism we share and I read from the big book of A.A my daughter really didn't want to hear that maybe just maybe there is a chance she is one.her friend however was open to the chance as her father was an alcoholic.my daughter never really thought I was an alcoholic,and that I am just getting old and don't want to have fun anymore
We left for a long walk sunny day with the dogs,did some grocery shopping remember I am a sabbatical fom domestic duties,but I am a wife and a mom they needed to see I love them..came home cooked a nice healthy dinner salad. chicken and sweet potaow,rice aaahh finally some quite while the family ate there dinner,very appreciative of my efforts to say the least.
While I was cooking we got to talking about life..yes of course my life and how it affected them. my daughter views are quite different to my sons and they are both entitled to there opinion and communicate them exceptionally well.remember they are my children my daughter is 26,and my son is 30 for years we have the debate over my life.as you know I raise my children on my own,by choice yes I even picked there fathers,so I know who they are, by the time I was nineteen sure I had relationships but they where far from perfect or long lasting however the children of my unions are still around and have survived.3 of them.






Some scars are deeper than others..and a few resentments towards me.
Six inch stilettos open toe are my preferance,I have utilized my skills experience and knowledge to benefit myself and my family and yes even the stiletto shoes can get a girl whatever she wants and in more ways than one.Shocking as it may be I was a call girl.hooker, prostitute,self-employed business women. I upgrade to massage therapist as the kids got olders more respectable job title for others getting back to what the kids and I where talking about,my daughter doesn't like the facts of the matter.I explained to her that her perception of what my job title entails is purely illusional. how is a women with six inch stillos shoe make her money well,first things first what someone calls me from the many advertisments I pay to do,men call..for all kinds of services,I am exclusivly massage fetishes and domination.I don't suck on anything.I am not a sucker
I am a fucker though bend over.
I am open to listening to my daughters rather harsh judements of me.and I can calmly discuss things both personal and professional,I never have been a supporter of free fuckin as most women are.some women are victimized by men.some play victim.
they spread there legs then blame the men if it doesn't work out call the men deadbeat fathers,live on social service. government housing.rather than take responsibilty for bad choices they made.I can tell you coming from where I am the only victim here is the ones that get screwd I just do the screwing.
in a mans world. I play by the rules of the game called life my life so screw off or bend over

Let's talk about relationships

Let's talk about relationships,first and foremost is the relationship with oneself.
When I was young,the relationship with my parents was turbulent,violent,abusive,and loving in a sick kind of way this bond was my first impression of what relationships are,as I moved forward to my teens,I wanted relationships with others friends and guys,I became very popular,when my friendships where formed I would have to move I learned at an early age that nothing is forever. everything is temporary
Family was forever as I had a strong bond with my grandparents.
as I embarked on my young teens.the more popular I became, the more friends I had.
The relationship I formed with myself was strong as many times when life was destructive in the home I was protective of myself and my 3 brothers.I didn't show emotions well.Fear of what will happen to us as a family was present scared of relationships.I kept emotional involvements far away.Then when I started to love boys
I made it so men served a purpose.you see my mother was a loose woman always hurt or abused by men.I vowed at 10yrs old that if she got 1 dollar for every guy she boinked she'd be rich.I instantly put two and two together money and sex.
relationship I formed I was the aggressor or abuser in a sense I became addicted to the high of falling hard for men,but justified it as they served there purpose.
My purpose at the time.
When I was 15 I was in a relationship with my children's father,his purpose was to have children no other reason.His presence in the children's life wasn't even concept for me.
As selfish as that seems now to me I really didn't no any better as the examples set before me was the norm.
Then I became involved in Love,it was what I knew,drinking drugs and sex.
home at last I was involved in a relationship someone just like my Dad,this relationship was about control,yet so out of control initially the attaction was good looks and great sex,partying and all that goes with it,
I was living in Vancouver to overcome my Cocaine addiction,enrolled in school,and working out at the gym,relationship was casusal which suited me fine.my one night stand lasted for over 10 yrs,through this time we engaged in our addictions and abuse of oneself and each other as the cycle goes the honetmoon stage was always spectacular romance,love,wild sex,then arguments and fights his drug addiction progressed to Cocain once we came back to Toronto,I had been there done that and knew I didnt want any part of this.Never ever.again we parted ways after I finally told him.the truth about my secret life,which included prostitution,
I will write about this in blogs to come stay tuned it is more than hinest and juicy accounts of life as a call girl.
His purpose was to work clean and help me raise the kids,he was good at all of these things the benifits of the great sex was a bonus plan.
I stayed single for 10 yrs after that,as I clearly had no concept of choosing the right gut nothing serious just casual non-attatched relationships worked for me.
untill I had a house fire the loss of all things material and the gift of life renewd
I yet again became involved with a drug dealer and drinker.he was perfect had five kids to.I was homeless after the fire began to evaluate my life,I began to care for this guy,feeling arose,he was yet another sexual relationship gone bad.The trust factor see I could fuck around but would not tolerate anyone doing this to me,double standard.
during that summer when I was concentrating on work,a client had asked me to go away for the week-end which I did I thought to myself how can I spend a whole week-end with someone you see my attention span was short when dealing with guys.
This man became my husband our relationship has lasted 8yrs something filled with love and purpose..till next time
Comments are appreciated

I am so relaxed my brain can't think?

The morning started off with hubby leaving for work the unusual routine a kiss to wake-me up. I am not the happiest morning person I tell him to get going snuggle back under the blankets and grumble while I think why does he wake me up some nerve.
This morning is the first day without him and the dogs kept whining at the door hoping for masters return.Awe isn't that cute,tried to get them to come and cuddle but they where not having it.they won I am up.at 7am so I play with them and take them for our walk down by the lake checking out the scenery it is so beautiful the sights the sounds.surrounded by the beauty of life, my new life..In port Credit
after the dogs and I had our fun we walked back to the hotel.decided I would take advantage of the buffet breakfast that was included with the suite.coffee to.
there where people sitting at tables. a few older couples, kids,two big women that loved the buffet for sure.as I was eating my brown toast,banana,they men where sneezing and coughing blowing there noises..yuk while I eat.woof down the food I was outta there just seemed really gross and the thought of the germs floating in mid-air was enough for me.went back to the room to go on-line to seem as though I have done some kind of work.the pool was awaiting me I went and there was only one other person who was leaving first I went in to the hot-tub I could feel the jets against my muscles the heat of the rapid water.reduced me to relax.15 minutes and time to swim.I did about 20 lengths of the pool..back to the room after I dried off.
back to twitter and face book.To rave about my life.does anyone care no.but I do it anyway.
it keeps me busy,I was suppose to do other things like make money.but that is on hold again.turns out I really can have my cake and eat it to afterall.
so I thought I work on my blog as iis so wonderfully quite the dogs are napping,the only thing buzzing in hear is the mini-fridge.
I am so relaxed my brain can't think this is unusual.
Relaxed what a concept?my only question is how long will it last?
On that note I am going to have an afternoon nap 1;30 pm.with all the workload today
I am relaxed watching everyone work so hard.
Strting to see the good life,is for me.
I can accept that today
Have yourself a great day I am!