Let's get real about Bipolar

Let's get real about bipolar.Bipolar is a Mental illness can also have physical and behavioral affects as well.In a time capsule that just will not give.Everything seems more difficult.
Relationships,energy levels up and down like a yo-yo out of control.
An appetite that can be big or small dependant on moods.This is hard on a girls figure to say the least.Then there are times when I can barley get out of bed never-mind turn over in it..always searching for the converter didn't I just have it.
Times like this are so peaceful when all I have are the thundering ideas that run amok in my brain.The midnight hours make it to exhausting to complete anything for the following day.Plan what? my days and life ahead.Gees I don't even know if I can make.Like a dog chases his own tale,returning to his own vomit.
Loud noises send us through the roof....I know count to ten and keep calm..really who has this much time.I am always in a hurry to get away..from...nothing.
It does get better,doesn't it?
thanks for reading Keep coming back and post comments I love them and you!

In for a ride

This Bipolar thing makes you hold on tight and go with the ride.Sometimes when we let it get out of control,there is nothing to hold on too.
It has been over a month,I am back on meds.It seems days are calmer and I wake up thinking life is not so bad after all.The previous manic episode had me bewildered.
Still making me question,what happened?
Wasn't I doing all the right things to keep Bipolar at bay.
Bipolar isn't something we can control.The illness rears its ugly head,in moods,episodes,acting out behaviours.keeping everything in checks and balances can make the strongest of characters thin and weary.
I am looking better and feeling better.fewer outbursts and episodes that is something that only meds can do.
I accept that.
Just an update,How are you doing?

Bipolar Personality

I am beginning to think...Yes that is right Bipolar love to over think.Isn't that what meds are for?
Bipolar personality,I was created this way.To deal with the madness of the world and the people in it.
Today started off with a knock at the door my daughter came to visit,which is always nice.Headed out to do some errands,I was quickly reminded that the girl who was suppose to be serving me.the customer.That would be me. Apparently the young girl thought she was at a social event,kept talking with her co-workers.I was standing there,in non air-conditioning waiting and waiting as she turned to talk for the third time,the bipolar came out.I did say to her I want service she told me to wait.I can tell you the bipolar went into crazy mode,asked for her name.then she proceeded to argue with me.I insisted I was not there to chit chat with her.and get to the task at hand.I was fuming mad. She said have a nice day.I plan on it Bitch,as for you,you will have to feed your five kids on 10.00 an hour.
The rest of the afternoon,I was at the beach with my daughter,grandson and the dogs.
We walked,talked and played as well as worked on our tans.
This calm and quite is beneficial,at my age.
Then I was getting the bus home,after a night out.I was standing at the front as the young TTC driver was approaching the bus stop.He said to me ring the bell.
as he misses my stop. I am one of two people on the bus.what did he not see me?
Really he just wanted to be rude.I am mean..when people are rude.
Geez come on the customer want service and this does not include lip service.
If your going to dish it out.Please be ready to deal with this Bipolar personality.
Thanks for reading Comments are appreciated!

Happy Birthday Baby Boy..Oh my your 31

Happy Birthday to my baby boy,my one and only son.
The gift of life...Today I got up early,I've been thinking of you since yesterday gone by.Thinking of your truimphs and limits each you face with a cool calm.
with a humor that is not easy to explain.your funny smirk and qurky way.
I have seen you comfort others in despair,forgiving the unforgivable in my books.
I see the way your children light up when you enter the room.
watching them takes me back to your youth.They are so much like you.
The day you where put in my arms I knew what love was.31 years later the unconditional love a mother has for her son.is well beautiful.
Thanks for being a wonderful son and brother and father.
adding more than I could ever give..To your gift of life.
Have a great day..Birthday Boy~

News of the day.

I was watching the news. CP24 I was disturbed to hear That the OSPA is euthanizing 300 or more dogs..they have all contacted ringworm as well as staff.
The apparent outbreak of this viral bacteria seems to have dogs at deaths door.The very institute that is monitored by government and funded by tax dollars and donations.There primary purpose is protect dogs. I was checking there website which states they protect dogs from animal cruelty.
I had to take my dogs for a walk.usually we stop and play ball and Frisbee on the school grounds as the grass area is great for the dogs. We were interrupted by a security guard that said no dogs on school property.I turned and walk away He said.Thank-you Mam.I was walking past some teens that where smoking.Shouldn't the security guard be more concerned about the students,smoking.
Maybe they have changed their policy on that.
If a hospital had an outbreak of Sars and H1N1 or Aids do they kill off the people.
Ringworm is treatable.When the first dog got ringworm they should have been kept from the others dogs surfaces sterilized who monitors dogs health & safety.
These dogs could have been fostered out or adopted due to the health crisis.

Slow me down give me a cocktail

Good-Morning Dearest Reader...
It has been 3 weeks of my medications.The Doctor said how can I treat you if you don't take your meds? I wonder with all his knowledge does he consider what effects the meds have on me. After a 3 week manic phase which I love.The meds have slowed me down,finally.
But really who needs to slow down?
Taking time out from the hectic pace of life.I continue to sleep,my sleep pattern seems more regular with afternoon naps included.
It is 9am,I feel refreshed and ready for a new week.
The bordom of the slow down has me thinking about the concept of a real job..The part I miss most is the business,the interaction with others,using my talents.
Just getting to shine,in what I love to do..That is making money,afterall we need it to live.
Indulging in most of my bad habits...Leaves me wanting more.
I know that slowing me down is ultimately better as well as calmer.What is the hurry?
It has been 8 months working on my writing..Ultimately writing a book.
and with my earning I would buy my house.That the goal.
I guess the slow down will help me to focus and continue to write.
Does anyone read this stuff? The questions and doubts linger in my head..The dread of what the possible outcome will be?
Fido cut my cell phone..for non-payment. Geez I don't answer the phone anyway.
Is it really a necessity? paying bills..increasing cost may look good to others.
But with the economic slow down cutting costs looks better to me!
Now if I could make saving as fun as spending..I am making progress.
Have a great day..Keep coming back.
Post a comment while your here,Thanks
Susan.

Today my daughters birthday

Today is my daughters bithday,she is 29.
It is hard to believe the time has passed so quickly.
I remember many special moments that make me proud being her mother.she was actually a mothers day gift.We usually celebrate together.
Mother and Daughter...
This blog is dedicated to her life,as a daughter and a Mother
She has always been beautiful and smart.her calm character a welcome calm to the family.Her ability to speak in debates and encourage others through her own experience..teaching others that including myself that we can't always react to circumstance.
She is kind as a daughter and sister.
I have so many fond memories many of which make me laugh as I write this.
Her abilty to take a bad situation and make it right.
Her search for her purpose spiritually,her growing walk with God.
My daughter has 4 beautiful children,she is dedicated,nurturing and so loving to them.
To see her as a busy mother teaching the kids,taking them to sports,encouraging them in there talents and education.
Shows me as I celebrate her as a daughter and Mother,what especially delights me is watching her as a women.
But always seeing the child within.
Love you my sweet daughter..Many more memories and birthdays
Leave a comment..Thanks for reading