midnightmatters

Bookmark and Share

About this blog

My photo
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
This Blog is not for the faint of heart,my direct approach is to address the importance of lifestyle choices.. education and awareness.the story will unfold Midnight matters ..days just slip away..and nights get longer writing has been a passion of mine now I share it with my audience. sharing my stength.hope,faith Everything in between Thanks for visiting come back soon!

Labels

10 bipolar signs.living with (1) acceptance (1) addiction (1) addiction compassion drugs emotions (1) addictions (1) advise (1) aging (1) agnes (1) alcohol (1) alone (1) anger (5) appearances (1) barriers (1) beauty (1) bills (1) bipolar hungry (1) bipolar pms features feelings (1) birthday (1) bitch (1) blog bipolar brain (1) bond (1) booze (1) brain (1) calm (1) calm peace sun walk dogs (1) capacity (1) change (4) change life moods (2) changes (2) cold (2) compliance (1) cooking (3) coping (2) cops (1) courts (1) crazy (1) crazy.obsessed (1) daughter (1) day money feeling strangers (1) days (3) death (1) depression (3) depression signs and symptoms (1) desire (1) diagnosis (1) direction (2) dishes (1) dishes housework solutions (1) dogs weather (1) dogs.love.obedient (2) drugs (2) emotions (1) energy (2) excercise (1) exercise (1) facebook downtime (1) facts (1) faith money tomorrow (2) family (5) fast (1) food (2) freedom (1) freedom fighters (1) frustation (2) future (1) gambling (2) goals (2) goals week time (1) god (1) God spirit will jesus child (1) gratitude (1) groups (1) growth (1) happy (1) heart (1) honesty (1) hood community home (1) Hoods (1) housing (1) hypomania (2) hypommania (2) illness (1) illness.choices (1) invisable (1) isolation (1) issues (1) labels (2) laundry (1) letter granddaughter growth (1) life (2) life call girl children (1) life recovery (1) living (1) low moods (3) luxury (2) mad (1) managing (1) mania (2) mania spending (2) meaning (1) mediation (1) medication (2) meds (1) mental health (1) mental heath (2) mental illness facts (1) miracles (1) money (4) mother (1) movie (1) moving (4) moving.freedom mania (1) nights (1) nothing (1) nutrition (1) others (1) overwhelmed (1) pain tooth dentist (1) passion (1) patience (1) peace (2) people (3) plans (1) policy (1) poverty (2) pregancy (1) present (1) professional (1) pychiatry (1) quite (2) rapid-cycling (3) reality (2) receive (1) recovery (2) relationships (1) relax (1) rest (1) revenge (2) rushing (1) self esteem (1) selfish (1) service (1) shopping (1) shopping gambling sex (1) sideffects (1) sleep (1) sleep disturbance (1) slow restless quite (2) social media (1) speed (1) spending power control (1) stigma.mental health (2) stillness (1) success (1) suffering (2) summer rest family (1) sunday feeling (1) sunshine (1) support funding show comedy education (1) switch (1) symptoms (1) symtoms (1) talking (1) technique (1) thankful (1) therapy (1) thinking.creatvity (1) thoughts (1) time (1) timing (1) tired (2) today (1) treatment (1) treats (1) trigger family expectations (1) triggers (2) triggers.people.bipolar (1) turkey (1) twitter (1) universe life difference love (4) walking cooking mood calm (1) water (1) weather moods dreams (2) wellness (3) why do I care (1) work (2) writing restlessness (1) writings (2)

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Wellness Challenge

I was having an occupational therapist come to my home,I had tried other forms of therapy.nothing really worked and I needed something to help me connect the dot as I would describe it.I would have trouble with basics like forgetting my belonging when I leave the house locking myself out.needing to do an errand but forgetting the objects or papers I needed in which to do the errand.wanting to make my goals but unable to do them..there was a disconnect which I had never experienced before as I am usually with it and articulate multitasker but during this phase I was unable to even pull it together..and when I could I would get lost on the bus even though I have been there many times before.or forget why I was there.
.
the frustration was mounted by the agitation of being around people which would lead me not able to keep me appointments..or meet my obligations..heighten by the worry of what was happening to me and the horrific side-effects of the medications I really didn't recognize myself anymore.I began to isolate I couldn't handle the situation,my diagnosis.your the reality that this was it I was crazy..cause even to me I was..
I certainly was not the person I once was.
nor will I ever be.they gave my an occupational therapist Julie..I was grateful one on one which was great.she came to my home so I always kept my appointments.she gave me valuable ways to cope,understand,about triggers, symptoms,and how I can respond well this was all new and I was willing to learn as what I was doing was not working
Wellness was soon apon me which I could never see before.now it is possible as I am working and feeling and being better
Wellness however does take work and a lot of work...but I will do the work as wellness is the challenge.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

an elephant's ear

The pounding in my head still has not stopped,the silence surrounds me just the computer humming and the odd car driving over the rain splash!,my stomach is in knots urning and turning its 4am my hair tousled above my head playing with each strand in a way to elevate the strain on my brain...I massage my scalp as to desensitize my brain from the Midnight Madness
my genius mind this manic depressive is at again thinking writing over and over again...
usually the pleasure is there today is different,I did set a goal to limit my time at this creative genius hat I wear...
I did do the pile of dishes that were there for weeks finally...some action
I am please with that progress and I had to ask for help with that task...but its done I don't have dishes asking when will I get done...
so I will use only a few dishes oh look there are 2 glasses and two bowls now....so it begins again my dish dilemma...when will it ever end...

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Let the madness begin

Well I've been well under way into days of hypo mania, many weeks now the ability to create is simply amazing..in the last 3 days I have managed with 5 hours sleep this is always good with me as I prefer to get things done,but in practical matters what I've accomplished is matters within my mind yes they are creative and put to so called use but where is the benefit to who's benefit well that we shall see.
Midnight for me there is much to do I must busy myself off to the Metro formerly called
Dominion, suited me fine why the name change,leave things as they are, I don't like stupid things as such....I love to shop at 24 hrs places no one is there and since I haven't done a speck of shopping in over a month I figured it was time! so off I went the rain had settled and despite the weather has been warmer I haven't left the house in days ...I still couldn't bring myself to do a full shopping as I am cutting back,wanting to loose weight, I dropped off my bag of fat cloths to the good Will before I got to the grocery store now I have to buy new clothes I always throw away my clothes in hopes to buy more and never get to the store....so my closet are bear and I am losing weight...

Thanks for dropping by..till next time

My Blog List

The reason of all reasons

A blog dedicated to strength,courage and hope.
Mental Illness and addictions is a disease,it should be treated as such recovery is possible.
My goal is to carry the message to those that still suffer that you will not have to be in isolation. be free my friend at last.
Reserved right to content of this blog @copyright 2009
No use of this blog is to be copied,without consent

Blog Archive

Search This Blog