midnightmatters

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Toronto, Ontario, Canada
This Blog is not for the faint of heart,my direct approach is to address the importance of lifestyle choices.. education and awareness.the story will unfold Midnight matters ..days just slip away..and nights get longer writing has been a passion of mine now I share it with my audience. sharing my stength.hope,faith Everything in between Thanks for visiting come back soon!

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Thursday, October 15, 2009

Bipolar vs PMS


Bipolar vs PMS,readers will know I have been bitching all week,about everything.
what do you know my monthly came today.bloody relief,however it is 2 weeks early according to plan.My better half kept saying it was PMS.obviously he was right.It is his excuse for me being completely out of my mind.He laughed when I told him he said that he should write a novel on the topic.I yelled screamed,punched him told him I hated him,at that very moment I did.

Bipolar and PMS have similar traits,Moods fluctuate in 65% of women according to a study.with my monthly coming sooner the moods have been all over the place up down all around,within minutes..I was thinking to myself today the medications would at least take away this feeling,or the cycles would be shorter and longer.I will have to discuss this with the doctor.depending on how long these moods last and fluctuate.
hopefully it will just pass,and stability will return.With winter upon us sunshine is
not available days are dark gloomy and cold.like me.I sleep alot more during the days
up,all night which indicates to me,I am in mixed state hyper and depressed at the same time,to depression.occurring rapidly.

Bipolar features include agitation,anger,isolation,spending money,feelings of failure
over thinking,wanting to get things done but unable to follow though
The 7 day cycle,brings its own features cramps,low energy,tired,bleeding like a slaughter pig,bloating,irrational thinking.

Everything seems to overwhelming the response is fight or flight.
I can tell you the flight option is appealing leaving on that jet plane to hotter destinations,climates.

There is one problem I will have to get there.

Thanks for coming back xo

Bipolar nagging like a toothache.

This is a week of DA Bitch as you can see I have been complaining,bitching,just as this bipolar thing is getting the best of me.
Last week I thought I was slipping into depression when I really just had the flu,symptoms are very similar.this week I am Bipolar rapid-cycling and I am cycling as fast as I can.The nagging toothache feels very familiar in bipolar.pain, aches,complaining how things just re not going according to the thoughts in which I vision in my mind.instead suffering solitude cause really I can't stand the sight of myself at the moment nor do I really want others to see me.so I am invisible,I am still awake it's 7:30am.just ordered breakfast,and in search of a new hotel with upgraded luxuries.for example I still have not picked up a winter coat.so I have to go outside to smoke as I am in a non-smoking room.Really why is this as I smoke and it is fucking freezing out there now.My hair is a mess my eyebrows are matching the grey hairs that mix with the blond.I am less than impressed with luxury lurking around the corner.here I sit,agitated and restless.The gnawing of my tooth throbbing in my mouth I did take some Tylenol in hopes to elevate the pain,it does not take effect.As I rest my head in my hands pulling at the roots of my hair.
My brain is going faster than I can type.taking a sip of my coffee which is cooling down.I feel stuck I don't like this feeling.The solutions are many.I opt for this one.Why?to increase my frustration and anger the place which I call home?
Empowering myself,get a coat,book the dentist and change locations so things will work for me not against me.The Bitching will only last for so long till I get tired of listening to myself.then the action will be a result of getting my ass in gear.
although it may happen later,right now I need to sleep.so I'll do just that
Good-morning to you..it is lights out for me
Thanks for coming back please leave a comment I need to be inspired
the invisible bipolar
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The reason of all reasons

A blog dedicated to strength,courage and hope.
Mental Illness and addictions is a disease,it should be treated as such recovery is possible.
My goal is to carry the message to those that still suffer that you will not have to be in isolation. be free my friend at last.
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