Testing of everything in me comes around daily..Patience is not one of the qualities
I have been blessed with but I can tell you I am graciously getting the hang of it..
patience and faith seem to go hand in hand..blindly leading the way...I have no doubt
that while going through the things life throws my way..for example test of faith with my son what an ordeal..but we have made it through,now it is my Mother she has been very ill for over two months now..for the last three weeks she has been in hospital they found out she has a hole in her heart and glogged arteries..which may require open-heart surgery..well I can tell you I am besides myself..worst case senerios are running through my mind she has never been a fighter..is she strong enough will she fight..then the childhood issues are coming to mind my mother and I have never been close, I always had resentments for the fact she was unable or unwilling to care for her family..now as God will have I must care for her time to deal with the issues at hand before she dies..it has been very emotional I don't want her to suffer but in life you reap what you sow..is this a bad joke or what
just the thought I will have to give myself unselfishly yet again..to care for the weakest one of them all..My mother has never been available in any regard for her family..Funeral services will have to be arranged by me I am she, didn't prepare
for this time of life..an emergency someone will take care of her yet again..
How is it in life some have and some not this is what angers me to expect others to carry your load..especially your family how selfish..to me a parent has responsibilites to her family..My mother has never honored hers in my book..A chapter
of the book is coming to a close the end of her life, is the whole in her heart a way of saying she has no heart..I know the thoughts are running wild but I have to share this part with you..I have never been able to share it with Mom..
I am a fighter..every test in life I have passed..this is just another test to finally let it go..forgiveness..at the end of her life...
