midnightmatters

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Toronto, Ontario, Canada
This Blog is not for the faint of heart,my direct approach is to address the importance of lifestyle choices.. education and awareness.the story will unfold Midnight matters ..days just slip away..and nights get longer writing has been a passion of mine now I share it with my audience. sharing my stength.hope,faith Everything in between Thanks for visiting come back soon!

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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The High life



It has always been part of my character,Bipolar or not to live the high life,sometimes I do,then there are time I live in the dumps usually depends on my state of mind,how I am feeling and yes the most important how much DO RE ME (cash)
I have at my disposal,only to be realized with the fact money doesn't grow on trees for some,they work hard for there money well that has never been my case easy come,easy go. feast or famine for this girl..would I have it any other way of course not,I love the survival mode,the ability to make cash in when I need to,The feast is sure great when I am flying high,but when I am not then the big D rears it's ugly head that would be depression..Money,power and control floats me boat..there is no better feeling for me,security it not the main objective as when things are secure..
I really don't like it,I like the freedom to roam,change,be versatile it was not for the family I would have probably been a world traveller.but the roots where always home..the base in which I was secure,doesn't everyone need this? since I have many sources of loot I am very resourceful,always have been..just material things don't mean that much to me as they once did,yes don't get me wrong I love nice things,but I don't attach importance to them,as most people do..Assets are more important,at this stage of the game,first and foremost ME I am my most valuable asset.then what I own,not the bank owing but me,this is where the power lies as I think long term my investments have to be long-term AGE creeps up on us quickly,leaving behind for my family the results of my life,a reason for my life,the difference..I made to them
this is my ultimate goal...So do the math (9 grandkids) each will have ahead start..
by the difference I have made it's a big feat..I often wonder,will I reach that goal
I am very determined..regardless of the cost..

Open and Honest


Bipolar love
I meet so many incredible people with my work..I can tell you I take it very seriously,maybe to serious..there is a time for everything,right now humour comes about just after my flaming bull rage I had for two days why you ask? just because I think I need a change to change it really just part of the rapid-cycling bipolar,It has occured to me yesterday it is time to move,SO in a fit of rage which classify as bipolar moment or whatever I came to the conclusion I need a big house A million dollars OMG I don't have that much is the reality of it all.But I want it,doesn't really matter how I get it,My husband was kind enough to point out I was being unreasonable..well if I can't get it with him maybe we don't have similar interest was my reply,our relationship is in trouble as we don't communicate I have to yell at the top of my lungs for anyone to hear me!I want my house...so over the next few days I am in search of the new diggs,bigger better time to move on..in the meantime I have starting packing first my suitcase,as if I am going to Hawaii that would probably be just as good,a vacation but reality is I'd have to come back,I really don't care bout the obstacles I might face, anything is possible when your a raging bull and don't dare get in my way..I had to say that no about of medication is going to keep me in the complaint state drug me and ooohh everything is calm and good at who's experience mine screw that my happiness is of most importance my well- being,I will go to all lengths to get and be what I think I should have and be..NOTHING is going to stand in my way not even reality at this point why limit myself,if I am going to think,think BIG...Anger for me has always served me well in life it;s the fire under my ASS.I am pissed at the fact that I am 46 years old and still have yet to be where I want...Only I can make it happen,yes I know all about the journey and not the destination...but I want more than ever the destination aaahhhh I will be able to breath easier to prove my point to myself.close that chapter,and get on with it here I come destiny you have been waiting far to long for my participation HERE I AM all yours...and in the destiny the humour involved is part of the process,enjoy the ride..whheeww cause that part never did come easy,ENJOY

Thanks for dropping by..till next time

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The reason of all reasons

A blog dedicated to strength,courage and hope.
Mental Illness and addictions is a disease,it should be treated as such recovery is possible.
My goal is to carry the message to those that still suffer that you will not have to be in isolation. be free my friend at last.
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