midnightmatters

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Toronto, Ontario, Canada
This Blog is not for the faint of heart,my direct approach is to address the importance of lifestyle choices.. education and awareness.the story will unfold Midnight matters ..days just slip away..and nights get longer writing has been a passion of mine now I share it with my audience. sharing my stength.hope,faith Everything in between Thanks for visiting come back soon!

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Thursday, February 18, 2010

The Dark Depression

Dark depression... it's dungeon spares no one, no matter what one tries.
Once in its grasp.The anguish of despair.I did feel it coming surely I could use something from my self-care tool kit.No not this time,with thoughts of worthlessness
and why try so hard taking care of an illness that really, can I control it! or has its grip on me always remain.I for the first time was admitted to hospital on a form
which means I am to be monitored for 72 hours and accessed.The outcome the deadly dragon depression.
This is my experience,I was whisked away into a Mental health Crisis unit,8 other patients mostly men laying on a pull out chair,5-8 patients in confinement.5 nurses at the station and 3 security guards.1 phys doctor.I was escorted by a nurse to the short stay unit.I was not informed that it ws a locked unit.I was giving a series of blood work $ anal swaps.Interview with Psychiatrist asking repeated questions as she never looked at my file before asking to see me.which made me very angry.It really felt jail..
The patients where left to wander around aimlessly,until the line for meds.
15 minute breaks every 2 hours where permitted,and private belongs where locked up at the nurses station. They had given me a form to fill triggers, symptoms and crisis management.4 nursing staff at night they talked on their cell phones,played on the Internet ie face book e-mails and paperwork/lights out at 10pm.Staff actually slept in the staff room for 2 hours at which time,switched places with another staff
I was given nothing to sleep ie in the way of meds all I could do was lay in my bed.
watching my surroundings till I slept at 5am. I was wakend with more blood work.
Discharged.with my precription.
I'll write again soon Susan
It is getting more interesting as the moment passes
keep coming back.Please leave a comment thanks.

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The reason of all reasons

A blog dedicated to strength,courage and hope.
Mental Illness and addictions is a disease,it should be treated as such recovery is possible.
My goal is to carry the message to those that still suffer that you will not have to be in isolation. be free my friend at last.
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