midnightmatters

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Toronto, Ontario, Canada
This Blog is not for the faint of heart,my direct approach is to address the importance of lifestyle choices.. education and awareness.the story will unfold Midnight matters ..days just slip away..and nights get longer writing has been a passion of mine now I share it with my audience. sharing my stength.hope,faith Everything in between Thanks for visiting come back soon!

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Thursday, April 30, 2009

Some days I'll call them low moods

I call them low moods,as I just don't like the word Depression I can't believe I even wrote it it just urks me it implies no hope and I am a very optimistic person usually. Bipolars do have depression and on my day of low moods they have in my life lasted days weeks and months.

I am now fully aware of what makes up my low moods.but when when I first started having them I had no clue.just that I was no longer functioning, no interest in anything, sleeping sometimes 1o-15 hours a day everyday and still no energy, feelings of being overwhelmed by what I don't know as I was always asleep but during my times I was awake the thinking of despair would not go way.thoughts like what's happening to me? I can't even take care of myself any more? how am I going to manage my life? what will become of me.normally I am high functioning and multitasking but during these times I am not able to do very much.
I became more and more isolated I didn't want people to see me like this.I didn't feel good and it showed in my face and my appearence.my confidence was stripped from me completely.
I have since learn alot about the illness and ways that I can improve my quality of life and have had great success.
I do have the odd day when the D word come to the surface and rears its ugly head.but now I know its a dangerous place for me to entertain.I can't go there or stay there.
I would joke with the doctor just give me a some-thing some-thing so I can snap out of it.
it's a dark lonely place.with no end in sight.but I am here to tell you my friends it does end as all things do.
I have to take my well-being into account and do all the things I can to feel good and be good
and on the low mood days like today I started the day off right prayer/meditation my i hour walk,,water, veggies aah I see there is no sunshine today see the sun doesn't shine everyday my friends.

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The reason of all reasons

A blog dedicated to strength,courage and hope.
Mental Illness and addictions is a disease,it should be treated as such recovery is possible.
My goal is to carry the message to those that still suffer that you will not have to be in isolation. be free my friend at last.
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